Part 2

By George Demetriou and Lisa Demetriou

TRUSTING YOUR INSTINCTS

Everybody is born with a tiny voice inside their head that let's you know when something is very wrong or there is danger approaching. As we get older we rely more on rational thought and don't trust the tiny voice, the instincts as much. Those instincts are there for a reason and will always serve you, but you have to listen and trust. Instincts or intuition has nothing to do with rational thought which is why people often ignore the signals sent. We may dismiss that "bad feeling" by trying to rationalize-"Why would he do that?" or "Nah, it can't be." In her book Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, Dr. Christine Northrop defines intuition as "the direct perception of the truth or fact independent of any reasoning." To truly understand trusting your intuition read the book, The Gift Of Fear, by Gavin de Becker. As soon as your done read de Becker's second book, Protecting the Gift, which addresses vital information for protecting your children. Read these books and in the meantime when you have a bad feeling about a particular person or situation act on it. Trust the feeling. Do not try to understand "why?".

STRATEGY

Pre-confrontation strategy is basically "hardening" your family as a target and mentally preparing to avoid or escape an assault, robbery, abduction or worse. In order to strategize at this stage we must place ourselves in the shoes of a potential assailant and recognize our vulnerabilities. It is human nature to relax (read: be in a state of dulled awareness) when we are entering or leaving our homes. This is an Area of Vulnerability (AOV). Who expects to get attacked on their own driveway? Not too many people. Yet it happens and not infrequently. Consider entering or leaving your vehicle. It's been done thousands of times without a problem. Then one day while taking your child out of her car seat a stranger approaches and begins punching you. This is an AOV too. The fact that you are engaged in a routine, predictable action while remaining almost stationary makes certain places AOV. Realizing when one is vulnerable is the first step toward mapping out Pre-confrontation strategy.

PRE-CONFRONTATION STRATEGY CHECK LIST

*When possible observe the area you are about to enter before leaving the building you are in.

*Practice getting your key in the car door lock and house door as quickly as possible without having to focus on the locks.

*Practice getting children in your car and in your home as quickly as possible.
*Encourage children as young as possible to enter your vehicle on their own-under parent supervision. In case you have to fend off an attack as you are entering your car.

*Instruct children on use of an alert word or phrase to communicate possible danger. Yelling, "Get down" to my children while in a car will cause them to IMMEDIATELY drop to the floor without asking, "Why?". This takes practice, so make it a game.

*Look into your car before getting in or placing a child in. Bad guys have been known to enter cars and wait until an unsuspecting person gets in.

*Whenever practical walk around the entire car and look before getting in. Some criminals have caused damage that is not meant to disable a car immediately, but down the road, away from a busy area. Others have actually attacked women while hiding underneath the car. This is one reason why it is important to think about vulnerabilities. Who looks under their car before getting in?

*Make sure your car is well maintained and gassed up at all times. Carry spare key.

*Get a cell phone. Even if you have it just to call 911.

*Never pull up to the bumper of the car in front of you. Leave enough space to escape without having to backup.

*Scan while driving and while parked.

*In extreme emergencies be prepared to violate traffic rules to escape danger. If you feel something is wrong do not wait at the red light.

*Be prepared to place small children or infants on the floor of the car in order to make a quick getaway from approaching bad guys. As soon as it is safe pull over and make the proper adjustments.

*Do not get out of a vehicle solely because a person bumped you with their car or because someone told you there was something wrong with your car. If the accident was legitimate you can exchange information where there are more people around or you can tell the other motorist to call the police while you wait in your car with the windows up and the doors locked. If there is truly something wrong with your car you will see, hear, feel or smell it before another motorist does.

*When shopping put your children in the car before you put the packages in. This places them in a position of relative safety as opposed to being in a parking lot while you’re concentrating on what you just purchased. Some have said that this strategy is poor because a car jacker could take off with your child. Maybe. I know a car jacker wants my keys. Armed with this fact and knowing that the assailant expects compliance creates opportunities. More on that later.

*Consider this: It is very difficult for a bad guy to take you, your property or your loved ones if your car is moving. The less time being idle the better.

*Do not drive home if you believe you are being followed. A good way to tell if you are being followed is to make 3 consecutive right or left turns. It is highly unlikely that another motorist will do the exact same thing unless you are being followed. If you are being followed go to a well lighted, populated area.

*Visualize attacks and how you would successfully deal with them.

There is more to Pre-confrontation strategy but this is a good starting point. The idea is to think about things pertaining to family safety you may not have thought about before. Just visualizing problems and their solutions will give you more of an edge than you had. When you have heightened your awareness, trust your intuition, have your pre-confrontation strategy in order and things are going bad anyway it is time for Confrontation Tactics.